I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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