Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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