he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize