Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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