I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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