i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize