do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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