Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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