Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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