I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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