To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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