just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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