She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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