just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize