This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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