I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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