what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize