can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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