WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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