Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize