Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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