ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
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im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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