yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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