so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize