i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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