That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize