I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize