You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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