Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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