I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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