I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize