i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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