just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
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I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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