im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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