K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
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