I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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