There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize