so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize