I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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