considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize