Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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