so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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