Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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