guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
there's paper in my vomit.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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