I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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