she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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