oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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