I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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