Already got asked if we're dating
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize