dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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