Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize